I am going to start by acknowledging that there are toxic players here. Sadly its a pvp game, and it does tend to bring out the.. competitive nature.. that some people have.
That being said: You are still a part of this community. You are capable of making groups. Meeting some of the MANY good people who play. I want to point out the many more good players than those who play for their egos. If you dont know how to run something, put that in your post. UDAS- Lower/upper- need experienced leader/teacher. You get the idea. You might be surprised who might step in to help. Or their alt needs it, etc. You cant expect people to just take you. People have their own lives and maybe they dont have the time or other plans, but if you communicate it does give those who committed an idea of what they are in for. Share that you are a new player. After playing this game since beta its still one of my favorite things to meet a new player having these adventures for the first time. Or even the first time in a long time. It also goes a long way with the rest of your group and the amount of patience they will extend to you
And one last point about needing stones and feeling the need to RMT. The price of the daeva pass is fairly reasonable now. While I personally believe it should be just included in the subscription, they did finally listen to feedback. They lowered the prices, lowered the number of required levels, and improved the benefits. You can get all of the items just by doing the tasks. lvl 91-100 stones are very good kinah if you dont need them, or decide to prioritize other things first such as crafting or buying lootrights. I am not really a big fan of the lootright system or having to bid for items, but at least its a way to get what you want or need. Many of those groups you are complaining about have put in the time and effort to run the instances. They know what they are doing because they learned the mechanics, their class, and their group dynamics. Its a social game. Make some friends and you could do that too